have you ever...?

Im not supposed ti be writing this right now but.....this is like a stealth operation where you
are not supposed to do stuff like this in working hours...and this makes me feel like writing
about my ¨working hours¨ and some other stuff.

Have you ever felt that your brain capacity its being used so rarely that you feel that your brain
its in stand by.
Have you ever had the time to stare at a monitor for like mmmm.....lets say 7 freaking hrs!!! And
dont get me wrong, im not mad, im just concerned about what happens in a bosses mind when they see that
his employees are a big amount of mindless flesh that : 1) or have nothing else to do, 2) or they really need the job.
Maybe i have some serious issues, maybe i dont like to follow the ´procedures´, but i cant deal with it,
when i feel like my brain capacity its used at its lower level, or should i say never used? And yes im human,
im not some kind of alien who came from tha blackest black hole in space, BUT i guess sometimes you feel like
understoodless (if that word exists, if not, i just creted it, deal with it), yo wanna do things your own way, you
think that you have found in your mind some sort of way to make things work, because its more simple, effective,
and you get it done quicker, its like when somebody talks too much that you ask yourself: ¿whats the point, you are not getting
anywhere by saying all that senseless crap?....
And it hurts, it makes you feel down, depressed and makes your brain crash. Because we live in some kind of stark, raving, sick, sad little world (thnx brandon boyd). it makes you crash because you somehow want to prove others your way of doing things, you wanna prove the way you live your life, you wanna prove that to others!!, you wanna prove why you think it is worth it to you, and to others its
somehow sick.

And yes i know my words are not that much specific but pardon my lack of magic tobacco right now.
I have some kind of independent soul inside, which i think its a waste cuz im not doing anything with it due to im not as independent as i wish. It would be nutz to think people should be given habilities, gifts, and mental capacities according to theyr posibilities and the chances
to explote those things i aleready mentioned.

Me, i show it with anger, rage, hate, agression, its not like i fisically hurt someone but i trend to say things so direct and straight to the point that it could hurt anyone, i know thats selfishness, or not caring about others, but the fact is that i do care, i care for the people
that have found happiness, with simple things, with a real type of life, with not working in crappy jobs that makes your brain feel so useless that you dont take time to think about things to make your self a better person, or doing things that really worth it. like MUSIC!

So... have you ever? had the time to think about things that if you look at them twice, youll see that you dissagree with them at all, but no body, including you takes the time to do something about it.
Is it the money that prevents people of doing things? ¿What if every one had money ? Will people be happier? ¿Do you think that with money people will understand you better? ¿Do you think you are not doing the things you want because of money? ¿Are you linked to the attacks on 9/11 ? (just kidding).... there are a lot of questions to be asked, and people still say that happiness its not all about money. ¿whats your happiness about? but think about this ...think that if you have something today that makes you happy, you bought it with money, which you earned in a crappy job by staring at a monitor for 7 hrs. so, still.....you bought happiness with money ;).


if one day we get the chance of doing what we like, what we think its good and fullfills our lives, just do it....but me...mmm me....some times i dont even know or understand why im like this, maybe i havnt found my gift or devotion yet... but some day...i hope i get there. i hope you too....